Yesterday was one of he lowest points of my career. Yesterday morning I sat and listened to a lovely member of our community who showed grace and dignity in a terrible situation. This lady described her personal devastation at an incident that had taken place not far from our school. If you have read Andy’s blog you will know that it may have involved some of our students. As I got into the car to leave her home I was struck by several things, the first being the lady’s own personal kindness. As my colleague and I left, she thanked us profusely for coming and stood on her doorstep waiting and waving us off until we were out of view. The second thing that struck me was how many good people there are in society that rally around others in times of need. This lady had described her local community’s response and explained how she’d had a constant flow of visitors to ensure that she was ok.

Unfortunately though this sense of compassion and kindness (which is at the heart of our ethos) isn’t everywhere in society. The second part of my day was an emotional phone call with a parent (who Andy also mentions in his blog) At the end of this call, I put the phone down feeling a mixture of emotions. I felt immensely sad that a young person in our care was being subjected to bullying from other students in our school. I felt powerless at the fact that although we have taken many steps to stop this in its tracks we hadn’t been able to implement everything quickly enough to make an immediate impact for this particular young person. I also felt angry that one person could have such a devastating impact on another with such unkind and unnecessary words and actions.

My own personal experience of bullying has perhaps shaped who I am today. I have suffered at the hands of bullies both as a child and as an adult. Bullies are the very antithesis of everything I stand for. Only on one occasion in 22 years of my teaching career have I been accused by a parent of bullying their child and this for me is one time too many. This is something I would never and could never do. It is not part of my social fabric and whilst I do understand that parents only want the very best for their child and at times emotions can run high particularly if they disagree with the sanctions that we sometimes have to impose in school, this accusation was still a bitter pill to swallow.

As a child, I was bullied throughout secondary school and as a painfully shy child this still on occasions has a profound effect on me today. I have also been bullied as an adult to the point that I almost gave up the teaching career that I passionately love. When I look back at this now, it seems crazy but every day whilst this was happening, I would go to work and cry in the car on the drive in, knowing that I was going to be subjected to unreasonable and aggressive demands. I was powerless (or so I felt) to stand up to his particular bully and for a short spell of time even ended up in hospital as the whole situation made me so ill. Up until now I’ve never publicly spoken about this and if I’m honest this will probably be the first and last time that I do so as even writing this brings back some painful memories. It is clear that bullying can happen to anyone at anytime. What is also clear is that for bullying to be tackled, everyone needs to be encouraged to speak out.

The reason that I’m writing this blog is manifold. Firstly because I’m so struck by Andy’s honesty in his letter to parents today, (I wouldn’t expect anything else) and felt the need at long last to write a few words about my own experience of bullying as an adult. Secondly I am proud of the sense of righteous indignation that some of our wonderful students have who want to make the world a better place and stand up to bullying. And finally, I believe in the sense of community that clearly exists out there. I believe that together we can all make a difference. I see it on a daily basis with the wonderful pastoral team that I work with (never before have I had the pleasure of working with such compassionate staff who relentlessly pursue the very best for all of the students in their care) and a Head who cares deeply about his students.

Tonight I shed a few tears whilst relaying the events of the last few days to my husband and watched the innocence of my two year old daughter happily playing with some friends. I know that someday there is the chance that I may be that parent that is making that phone call to the Deputy Head. I also know that as a parent and teacher I will relentlessly tackle bullying, relentlessly call out inappropriate use of prejudiced language and will relentlessly educate our students (and my daughter) about what is morally right and wrong. On Monday I also know with absolute certainty that myself, Andy, the staff and majority of our students at Fram will come together to stand up against bullies. We ask our students daily to do the right thing even when no one is looking. We will continue to do this. Everyone deserves to come to school or work free from harassment.